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[21 Dec 2003|09:55am]
I, Samantha Cox, gave my friends fantastic Christmas presents and I'm an all round wicked person who's friends want to say how much they love me.

That makes less sense than I thought it would.
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The Return of The Whambo: [15 Dec 2003|12:23pm]
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[21 Oct 2003|11:37am]
I've got a cold, so this morning I decided to take some 'day-nurse' before I went to school.
Unfortunately, I misread the label and actually took 'night-nurse'. Now I'm on the brink of falling asleep. I have 3 more lessons today.

Remember, vote for Spam, not 'Spani'.
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[30 Sep 2003|06:57pm]
I, Sam, was locked out of my house this afternoon. This led to a big problem; actually going to work. Sadly, the bastards gave me a spare uniform. I mean, how annoying is that?
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[12 Jul 2003|01:09am]

Thai in the eye!

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Whambo: Part 5 (GE) [10 Jul 2003|05:49pm]

So, Nick, Jubb, Spandex-Boy and I sat in the school hall, waiting for the remaining members on the PMT to see Swanny's big cum signal in the sky and cumcome find us. I mused to myself about what had happened in the past few chaptersdays. There had been an awful lot of fart jokes, little character development and no real definition to the plot. So, I decided to myself. No more fart jokes. No more pointless fights. No more silliness.

Spandex-Boy stood up. His underwear began bulging. A, methane filled, spandex balloon was forming from his rectum.

This is exactly the type of random junk that was preventing us from getting anywhere. The PMT were really living up to their name and I was genuinely dissatisfied. Was this all we were? Procrastinating moody teenagers with no drive, no ambition and far too much time to fill with inanity? Hmm?
Well, I, Sam, had had enough. I wasn't going to sit around here waiting for the PMT to assemble by myself.

"Right, fuckers" I said firmly. "I'm going to find those bastard gerbils and save Zack Morris. To be honest, you fucks are slowing me down".
Spandex-Boy and the Incredible Jubb stopped playing with each other's nipples and look concernedly.
"Okay? Well, I'm going, tell the others to follow me down this big hole that just appeared in the middle of the hall". I didn't want to confuse them with how such a big hole had suddenly appeared in the centre of the hall. It was convenient, and that's all I cared about.

"PMT?" Jubb said to Nick.
"PMT" Nick agreed.

No, it wasn't PMT. I was just damn horny. I mean Zack Morris. Like... oh my God. So, off I went into the big hole. I'd surprise those bastard gerbils and promptly kick their collective arse. Maybe the PMT wouldn't reform and help me, but I was determined to save Zack regardless.

The gaping chasm had a spiral staircase leading down into the heart of their lair, which was nice. Straw and gerbil feed littered the steps. Obviously no one had bothered to clean this place up. It wasn't long at all until I could smell their stench. Not much later I could hear an incredibly annoying squeaking sound. I was close now.
I entered the giant gerbil hall. There were no gerbils around. Strange. It was obviously a trap. I wasn't stupid enough to be tricked by a few thousand mutant gerbils. But who was that over there? Yes, it was Zack. What had they done to him?
He was imprisoned in the big exercise wheel. Forced to run endlessly, he was reduced to a common... Something that runs endlessly... Um, the nose of a boy who's allergic to having a nose. Yeah, whatever, I was too startled by their method of torture to form any rational thoughts. But he did look very attractive, all sweaty and flustered. I bet his legs were powerful too. You know what I mean... Ooooh.

"Zack! Oh, Zack! Are you alright?" I said in my sexiest voice.
"Whambo, thank you for coming. At last, Screech actually did something right. But where's the bell?" It was Screech on the phone, wow. I never even knew he had my number.
"Bell? What the hell?" I asked confusedly.
"Oh fuck," he said dejectedly. "The little bastard forgot to give you the bell didn't he? Ugh. Whambo, only the bell can save us. The bell. The bell."
"Oh, I see, we must be-"

"Saved by the bell, indeed" A deep French voice butted in.

I turned to see the king gerbil. His crown illustrated so. Yes, I was fucked. Well, not literally. Well, not yet, hopefully after I save Zack and get him home. But I was certainly buggered. Well, no... I was trapped.

"Aha, Whambo, you've fallen for our plan. After enslaving you, no one will be able to stop our super race of gerbils from controlling Deeping. Mwa ha ha ha ha!"

Damn, it seemed that the fate of Deeping was dependent on the PMT. That was if they could stop with their fart jokes, reform and save the day. But as they were the Procrastinating Moody Teenagers... I was truly buggered. I mean... No... Oh fuck it.
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Whambo: Part 4 (TJ) [17 Jun 2003|04:35pm]
Scene 1: Sam's house

Enter Whambo, The Incredible Jubb and Spandex Boy

Whambo: Where do we go now? Where do we go now? (breaks into song) Sweet child...
Spandex-Boy: By my troth, I know noteth.
Jubb: Nor do I. Though I think some dinner may beest in order.
Spandex-Boy: You just ate. You fat shite. If you wish to devour a whole fridge, then by all means eat heartily my dear fellow. If, however, you wish to gain a figure as refined as my own, then I suggest you do not.
Whambo: Hold your tongues! I feareth the bushes have ears.

Jubb goes to window and lets rip. Nick appears holding nose

Whambo, Spandex Boy, and Jubb: NICK!

Jubb remains with backside out of the window

Nick: You rotten skunk.
Jubb: Sorry old boy, didn't realiseth it was you.
Nick: By my troth, I was not referring to you, my dearest of dear, dear, dear fellows. (reveals some rotten skunk)
Whambo: Nick, I am grateful of you allegiance in this dark hour, and such a powerfuleth allie should be celebrated, though I fear we have not the time or the heart to rejoice now. We must speedily devise a plan to call the PMT to us. (to Jubb) If we do not move our asses.
Jubb: What? Do you want me to relieveth myself in your house? (moves from window)
Whambo: Then all will be lost, and the gerbils will eternally rule over our defeated souls.
Spandex-Boy: Do you realise you just said the same fucking thing twiceth?
Whambo: Its ye'old Englishe, I have to.
Nick: (sparks up) I have an idea, but by my troth, your hearts will need to be in this, or we shall fallth, and fallth 'til we can fallth no more into the darkness and the eternal rule of the ger...
Spandex-Boy: (cracks whip) Get on with, unless thou doth wishest to challenge me?
Nick: Nay, good sir, your anger is misplaced. I propose to you 3, that we use the one weapon that can bringest the Second Coming...
Jubb: Isn't that a job for swa...
Nick: (shouting) THE SECOND COMING, of the prophecy.
Whambo, Spandex-Boy, and Jubb: Not the prophecy!
Nick: Yes the prophecy.
Jubb: Really?
Nick: Yes.
Whambo: Really?
Nick: Yes.
Spandex-Boy: Really?
Nick: Yes.
Man walking by window: Really?
Nick: Fuck yes!
Man walking by window: Yikes! (exits)
Spandex-Boy: But the prophesy writes: "On the Second Coming, there shall be a terrible battle, where all but The Chosen One are slain". Yet we know not who is the chosen one.
Jubb: By my troth, surely it is our commander, our captain, (bows to Whambo) the very reason that we exist, the life and soul of us all. I would die for you, my leader.
Whambo: But Jubb...
Jubb: Oh! This life I choose.
Nick: Can I finish my plan? (silence) Good. We must riskesth life, limb, and balls to break back into school and fight through the army of mindless teachers to turn on the fabled signal that will surely recall the PMT back to us, and therefore complete the second coming.
Spandex-Boy: Yippee!! I'm going back to school. I'm no longer a bum!!


Scene 2: Outside school

Enter Whambo, The Incredible Jubb, Spandex-Boy and Nick.

Spandex-Boy: (skipping, whilst chanting) 'Coz back in school, we are the leaders!
Whambo: (to Nick and Jubb) I wisheth, and I shall swear it on my sword, and swear thus; that we may all survive this ordeal, for I hold both your friendships close to my heart.

Jubb sticks head in between Sam's boobs

Whambo: (hits Jubb) By my troth, not that close!
Jubb: As you hold my friendship dear, I hold yours dear. You are, by my troth, more important than, Nick, myself, or dick face over there. I hereby swear on my sword, and swear thus; I shall protect you with my life if needs be. Though I pray my soul is not needed, for I am a pussy when it comes down to it.
Nick: I shalleth also swear on your sword; FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK...eth
Spandex-Boy: We have arrived at the gates of molten fire that can only lead to unspeakable hell demons.
Nick: No that's just scho... good point.


Scene 3: Inside school

Enter Whambo, The Incredible Jubb, Spandex Boy and Nick. There are lots of Gerbils laying around them

Spandex-Boy: I am astounded. I never dreamed that...
Nick: Incredible, who would have thought...
Jubb: Could it be? By my troth, I have never seen such a sight.
Whambo: Though I am more amazed than all of you, I urge you to remember the task in hand. We must use the fabled signal.
Nick: Indeed. We must search for the signal.
Jubb: Indeed, we must; yet I know not what the signal looks like.
Whambo: Dumbass. It is, of course, well, sort of, err... Nick?
Nick: Bollocks. I have, by my troth, just noted, and noted fully, a flaw in my plan that could smite us all. Nobody knows what the fabled signal looks like.
Jubb: We are as good as smitten.
Whambo: Never! I shalleth not be smutted by such schmucks.

Spandex Boy picks up an unknown object

Jubb: Here here! I shall rally to protect the chosen one, for now they have revealed their true power to us. I will here by over swear my previous swores, and swear thus; I shall protect the chosen one, with my life, for am scared no longer.

Loud devilish noises rise up

Nick: Here they come!

Jubb screams like a 6-year-old

Spandex-Boy: Could this be it?

Holds up the fabled golden condom

All: Woooahoohahaooooo
Spandex-Boy: I must not open this until outside, so the light from within will symbolise the Second Coming.
Unknown figure in shadows: I will do it, for I am the only one who can.
Whambo: Who...are...you?

Steps into light to reveal Swanny

Whambo, Nick, Jubb and Spandex-Boy: Swanny!!
Swanny: The path of the one is made by the many, we all have our roles to play. Back in Part 2, I knew this was my destiny.
Whambo: How?
Swanny: Oh come on! How many people do you know that can wank twice in less than a thousand words? It is my destiny to start a chain of events known as 'The Second Coming'. I must go to meet my fate!
Spandex-Boy: (hands the golden condom to Swanny) Thank you!
Swanny: Do not thank me, it is my destiny.
Whambo: Not that silly! You stopped us from talking bollocks Shakespearean talk.

Exit Swanny.

Nick: Let's kick some gerbil ass!!

Fighting ensues

Swanny: (inside) The... Second Coming... is... HERE!!! Oh, what a wonderful feeling!

As Swanny orgasms, a blinding light fills the sky. The Gerbils in the school disintegrate, and the hero's are filled with joy


...to be continued...
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To be honest... [17 Jun 2003|08:02am]
I, Sam, am only enjoying the sunshiney days because it means I get to walk around with no underwear on. Don't believe me? Just check.
Now what do you think of that?
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[17 Jun 2003|07:58am]
I, Sam, am enjoying the current spate of sunshiney days.
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Whambo: Part 3 (GE) [12 Jun 2003|11:51pm]
So, um, anyway, where was I? Jubb had just gone all matrix-style on the gerbils, my breasts were correctly supported again, Swanny was once again relieved and now I had to assemble the PMT.
I already had Spandex Boy and The Incredible Jubb. I knew I wouldn't find the others in a box of Frostie's. Plus, we only had Coco Pops. You want a background story to the PMT, eh? Well, what else do I have to do?

This all started back in the summer of 2002. Ahh, what a year. Our rural town, Deeping, was the result of numerous chemical enhancements. We grew the biggest vegetables in the east, for a while it was great news. We all had good healthy portions of parsnip and such. The bad effects though, came through the peas, the tennis ball sized peas. One hazy, alcohol fuelled, night a group of us teenagers wondered into the fields. Searching for a truth, perhaps? Indeed, blame the X-files. With all this paranormal vegetation going on, we thought that perhaps the truth really was out there. Nick noted that the truth would most likely be found in the green glow on the horizon. Of course, the rest of us knew he just wanted to find out if he hadn't dreamt about that 'weed rainbow' after all. But anyway, we all obliged in his quest for a truth, or weed, both would do fine. There was a few of us; let me recall. There was Nick, Cloughy, Gary, Jubb, Louise, Kirsty, Joe and of course myself, Sam.

We stumbled across the horizon to find a huge radioactive-green glowing pea pod. Why didn't we run for our lives? Shut up, blame it on the booze. No, actually blame it on society. Upon closer inspection we noticed the peas. The tennis ball sized peas with pig purple eyes. It was just like something out of Round The Twist, Kirsty giggled. It was Nick's fault that they woke up. We all told him not to skin up off the leaves, although the glowing spliff was attractive.

Once the pea's awoke, they told us all about the magical capabilities in that spliff. We'd all heard the rumours that 10 years of daily marijuana use would give you superpowers, but we'd always feared the impotency that came with it. Strangely, we were convinced by the talking pea's in front of us and proceeded to all get thoroughly stoned of the glowing spliff. Oh, it was grand.

It only took only a few seconds until some crazy stuff started happening. We all gained very individual superpowers all unique to our personality and hairstyle. We also had serious munchies, so we ate the peas.
It was there, in that glowing field, on that drugged up evening that we formed the PMT and made up cool names for ourselves.

Ahh, let's explain about the powers some more shall we?

Well, Nick became The Artiste Formerly Known As Nick. His powers stemmed from his artistic nature. He could use art utensils with devastating power. Brushes as knives, palettes as shields. You get the idea. Most of the time though, he just rolled pretty coloured spliffs.

Cloughy became Spandex-Boy. A lover of spandex, Cloughy had the power to stretch and bounce. Also, he had some cool coloured socks, which only added to his mystique. Sadly, his flaw was that his super stretchability had elongated his bum. Indeed, he became more bum than man.

Gary became Righteous Rasta. His hair gained medusa-like like qualities and was pretty handy at storing spare change. Sadly with his head of each individual demon-like locks his head did tend to weigh a lot. Gary's mental alertness suffered as result. He was likely to fall asleep at any moment, especially when stressed.

Timothy Jubb, the blonde one, became The Incredible Jubb. His magical power came through consumption. He could eat anything and his body would transform it into a gas capable of immobilising any foe. Of course, his bowels were not too stable and led to gaseous leaks. He brought some nose clips straight away.

Louise became Madame Flame, the mistress of the ginger light. He superior intellect meant she could use psychic powers to will objects as she wished and read the mind of anybody she wished. Sadly, despite her attempts Dave Grohl didn't fall in love with her. In fact, he fell in love, like many, with Joe.

Joe. Oh, wonderful Joe. Joseph became The Amazing Golden Haired Lover Boy. His "locks of spun gold", as Cloughy eloquently put it, gained hypnotic qualities. He became devastatingly attractive to both sexes and could will them to do as he wished. Then, of course, he'd erase their memory and get away with all the sordid things he wanted.

Last, but not least, Kirsty became Pixie-Girl. With the ability to shrink as small as she wanted meant she could fuck about with people shoe laces and make them trip over. Ahh, it was fun for a while, until she realised her 'pikeying' capabilities were also enhanced. Things were suddenly disappearing all over the place.

And as for me, Sam, I gained super strength and aptly named myself Whambo. For a while I even wore a cool bandana just like Rambo. Why did I become the leader? Well, if I didn't this story would make no sense, so shush. We all vowed to use our powers in moderation. Of course this never happened and soon we had it became far too dangerous for us to be together. The gang would understand my undying love for Zack Morris and agree to fight against the giant gerbils with me, surely? No, Shirley never came with us to the field.

...to be continued...
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Whambo: Part 2 (TJ) [15 May 2003|04:37pm]
Little did I know that deep under the deep, deep sea. Deeper than the deepest depths of the deepest places, the evil giant zombie gerbils, plotted against the world; though their plotting didn't last long. It's a pretty simple plan really, that doesn't take much brains. Kill me; hold Zack Morris to ransom blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda.

Days later, I returned to the common room, though it looked strange. You might even say it looked "different". Yes, "different". Indeed the common room had changed after the attack of the well-dressed evil giant zombie gerbil. As you will all recall, the gerbil was drunk as a skunk, and this had a serious effect on his aim. What my friend Gary failed to mention was how the gerbil redecorated the common room in super-hard shit pellets, before he got anywhere near me. The people of the common room rejoiced, as the common room was returned to a (reasonably) good colour.

Though, there was a darker side to the attack. Several people suffered shit related injuries. Amongst the dead: Martin Rogers and Michelle "Mitch" Lister, who both died in very peculiar ways. Martin, (who was one for bad jokes) tried to reply to the general comments of "Oh shit", by remarking "You're not wro-" unfortunately, he never finished his sentence, as the evil giant well-dressed zombie gerbil pummelled his mouth with pounds of high pressure crap. The mortician said it was impossible to take the pellets out.

Mitch did not die from the shit. Oh no. Her death was much more comical. At the time of the attack, some shit shrapnel came straight for her, but she was ready for it. She lifted up her shirt, and the pellet was deflected by her overly large nipple-on. She thought she was ok, but no. Chemicals in the shit mixed with her cheap bra, causing it to shrivel up, retracting her breasts to unbelievably average 34B. She died from the shock. Her funeral was a lonely affair, not even the vicar turned up.

I thought of the lost lives for a second, but that was it, for I am The Magnificent Whambo, and I cared not for the pain of others. Suddenly, there was a ruckus in the common room, as someone turned on the TV to find a news flash. "Hello, I'm Hugh Edwards" At this point, several of the upper sixth unsheathe their shotguns and shot the TV, there was a large sigh of relief. Swanny finished wanking. Then there was another sigh of relief from the rest of the common room, who were slow to react to the demolished TV. They turned to the radio, the source of all power, the most intelligent being in the common room. Turns out the evil plan was much more simple than first anticipated. They just wanted to kill me.

I was panic-stricken and realised I couldn't do this by myself. You would think I could turn to Spandex-Boy, but he's a fucking wuss, so I turned to the only people who could help me now. A team of crack operatives who live to serve The Magnificent Whambo. Superman had the Justice League, Professor X had the X-Men, but none of these compare to the PMT (Procrastinating Moody Teenagers).

I had to think fast. Two hours later, after lunch and lessons (remember kids, your education decides your future, and The Magnificent Whambo is no drop-out) I called my team. Doing this in the car park, I phoned all of my team, but none replied. "Our list of allies is running thin", (direct quote from The Fellowship of the Ring) I said to myself. I had no option but to phone the weakest most suckiest member of PMT.
"Jubb, I need your help"
"What? Huh? Now? Me?"
"Stop asking questions you worthless shit and get your ass over here!"

Within minutes I found myself surrounded by hundreds of evil giant well-dressed zombie gerbils. Jubb was nowhere to be seen. The Magnificent Whambo fought ran bravely petrified. "Jubb! Where are you?" I shouted. It seemed hopeless, as if all would be lost, but then, Jubb appeared, with what seemed to be a bowl of muesli. "Jubb!" I exclaimed. "What are you doing?"
"Trying to perfect a powerful technique to save you"
"Hurry up", I was so tired I had resorted to taking off my bra and poking them in the eyes. It was a very cold day, and this technique was met with a surprising amount of success.
"But it's not perfected yet"
"Just do it!" I was getting desperate. It was getting warmer, and I was losing my nipple-on. 'If only Mitch was alive' I thought.
"Well ok", Jubb took one last spoonful of museli, and placed it on the ground. Then he seemed to squat, as if he was going to shit in the road. The next thing I knew, there was a large rumble, and then an annoying buzzing sound, much like that of a toy aircraft. Then I saw the evil zombie gerbils begin to fall. Looking up, I could see Jubb flying. Or at least I thought he was, but he was actually controlling a constant stream of farts, that were keeping him off the ground. These farts were also poisonous to the evil zombie gerbils, and they were all dead after about 10 minutes.

I put my bra back on. There was a large sigh of relief. Swanny had just finished wanking again. But I knew I could not rest easy, with Zack Morris' life in danger.

...to be continued...
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Whambo: Part 1 (GE) [14 May 2003|10:06pm]
So I sat down ignoring the random chatter of the common room. What did I see next to me? A mobile phone. But this was no ordinary mobile phone. It was far too flashy to be owned by someone in sixth form, surely? No, it wasn't Shirley's. She died long ago in that unfortunate science accident.
Mr Hughes leant over a table, see? Shirley, like most pupils, sat burning stuff in the lit Bunsen burner in front of her. Mr Hughes, being the titanic formation of gas and fat that he is couldn't resist letting loose with what could be called a "rumble". The last thing Shirley ever saw was the hole in Mr Hughes trousers. Unfortunately the last thing she ever smelt was far more vulgar.
Maybe someone had stolen it. Deeping's full of stupid thieves like that. You never know, I thought to myself.

Then it rang. It was a damn annoying ring tone, so I picked it up. Hey, there's nothing wrong with answering a ringing phone. Anyway, the squeaky voice on the other end was just as annoying as the ring tone. Luckily, they didn't speak for long.
"Sam? Sam Cox?" they said.
"Hello? Yes" I sheepishly replied.
"Listen carefully" I could hear the faint sound of rustling paper in the background. "You are the Chosen Sam, Sam. Sam?"
"Yes" I answered, feeling very stupid and looking around for the culprit of this prank.
"Okay, well, I'll briefly explain. My good friend, Zack, has been captured by evil zombie gerbils. Seriously, I'm not kidding. This is damn serious. I love my Zack, I don't want him to get eaten by gerbils. Anyway, right, I understand you're thinking, why can't somebody else do it? Well, I'll tell you why. Nobody else can save Zack because Gary would have nothing else to write about if you didn't do it. Okay, so do it!"

The phone went dead and I put it back down on the seat. I looked around. Yes, indeed, someone was surely playing a prank on me. I mean, who the hell was Zack and zombie gerbils aren't real. Well, this is what I thought before a giant zombie gerbil burst through the door. Wearing it's trilby hat and pin stripe trousers I actually found it quite amusing. It was only until it bent over and fired brick-seized pellets of shit at me that I knew it wasn't here for educational reasons. Indeed, firing pellets of shit at me. I couldn't just sit there and take it. Well, it was aimed at my head and I definitely wasn't having any shit near my head. That reminds me of a time when... um, I really should tell you about that.

So, anyway, amongst all the crazy screaming and running about I grabbed my bag. It was lucky today was the day I go to karate training. So I pulled out my nun chucks. I was a bit rusty so I only twatted it a few times. With a few well placed kicks to the spleen it was down. Indeed, I had successfully beaten the shit out of a giant well-dressed zombie gerbil. I was so proud. So then I frisked him. Well, you have to. How many chances would I get to touch up a giant gerbil? In his pocket I found a few things. A picture of, the devilishly handsome, Zack Morris from Saved by the Bell and what looked like a shopping list.

"Wow, Zack Morris!" I squealed with delight. I was going to meet the Zack Morris, my fantasy since I was only a wee nipper. I stopped stroking the picture and read the list.
Yep, the fucker was sent to kill me. He was drunk too, this pissed me off even more. That's what did it, a combination of Zack Morris and a drunken gerbil had gotten me involved. Well, to be honest, it was more Zack Morris. I mean, imagine all the different fantasies I could live out with Zack Morris. Yeah, so then I twatted the gerbil a few more times. "Rummy! Rummy! Fucking stinking rummy gerbil" I shouted in its lifeless face.

I gleefully skipped home holding Zack's picture to my chest. Indeed, Zack Morris, I couldn't get over it, plus it seemed Gary was running out of ideas. When I got home I promptly set up the spandex signal. Much like the bat signal, the spandex signal would call Spandex-Boy. Yes, indeed, I would need help with this mission. I could not fight a bunch of zombie gerbils alone. Only the awesome power of spandex could aid me. Whilst waiting for Spandex-Boy to arrive I put my hair in some Princess Leia buns. "Yeah", I thought to myself, "No Zack could resist this shit". Indeed, I was smitten. Then the door rang.

It was Spandex Boy. "Hey Clough", I said. "Yo Sam. What's up?" he replied. I then explained about my encounter with a flashy phone and a big gerbil then got all giddy over Zack Morris. Clough and I giggled about Zack for a few hours. We watched some TV, ate some pizza, you know, the usual. Then I remembered I actually had a mission to carry out. Indeed, I was responsible for saving Zack Morris! Zack Morris, people!

...to be continued...
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[13 May 2003|02:51pm]
This is Sam. Not Gandhi.

Sam did a big fart in physics, it sounded like thunder. No she didn't it was actually thunder.
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[05 May 2003|10:48am]
[ mood | tired ]

Sam, S-S-S-Sam, S-S-S-Sam! I want to take you to a...

Sam, Sam!

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[29 Apr 2003|06:01pm]
I am Sam and I am seventeen today.
All Hail Me.
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[15 Apr 2003|02:56pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

I, Sam, am accomplished.

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[15 Apr 2003|02:55pm]
I, Samantha 'Love God' Cox, love Michelle's cheesey feet.
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[12 Apr 2003|04:26pm]
[ mood | bored ]

I, Sam, am looking forward to a suitcase full of Skittles.

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Of Pirates and Playboys [08 Apr 2003|03:07pm]
The real sam cox is standing up , and would like to tell the story of my day.

ive spent the entire morning at sea on a yaught with my new husband Hue. hes old but rich!

we were crusing through the mediterainian , sunning my skin , when a pirate ship popped up on the horizon. we turned about but the were coming along side fast. a one legged, parot baring , sword wielding, fat bastard landed on the deck he tied us up and took our money and alot of hues things from the boat. i came back for third period (which was boring). cant wait to get home im nackerd! nid queen signing out!
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There can be only one....Sam Cox [02 Apr 2003|12:08pm]
Well, contrary to popoular belief this is the actual Sam. Whambo, Sambobing Genius, absolute Nid Goddess, call me what you will. But this is the real me. Plant pot and all. So...What to talk about?! Err...This is exactly why I originally didn't want a journal. However, I was once promised by a certain "Doctor Bob" that if I had a journal I'd get laid. Hmm, 'nuff said.
So, what has happened to me today? Ooh, ooh, Phil bought my guitar back so I can make up some more good stuff that is not about anyone I've ever met ever.
Seeing as I probably won't do this again for a long time, can I make a request for a story about...pirates. Just for Richard.
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